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single's horror stories

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[23 May 2007|03:15pm]

[ mood | busy ]

Love this community but think it could use an overhaul? New mod needed. Apply in comments.

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L.A. Update. Beta-Male Evolutionary Psychology. The Second Playmate. [11 Apr 2006|01:01am]

Update from the road:

Friday: Woke up at 5:30 a.m. and prepared for my trip. Client meetings until 10:30 am. Picked up carpool and cleared the distance between San Jose and Los Angeles in five hours. Went to boffo's Movie Night, where the consequences of my sleep deficit caught up with me and I promptly dropped into a dreamless sleep on his floor. Apparently, my sleeping form was a source of some amusement for the conscious guests. Drove to browascension & lightling's place and crashed.

Saturday: Met up with Aviad "50 Shekel, the World's Most Kosher MC" Cohen for sushi, photography/music related dialogue, and other mischief.

Our meandering through Los Angeles took us to The Standard, a nexus of the terminally hip and neck-snappingly beautiful denizens/visitors of Hollywood. Even in this rarified world of absurdly attractive people, one woman sitting alone working on a Sudoku puzzle stood out ... a jaw-droppingly attractive Latina mestiza that can drive even relatively extroverted people like me to intimidated silence.

I've often wondered about that intimidation factor - perhaps it's an outgrowth of the unspoken understanding between men of the pecking order; we know women of a certain level of beauty are courted and approached by richer, more powerful, more charismatic, better (in every objectively measurable sense) men than us, and we are as out of our league in that elite company.

Objectively, this fear makes no sense - even if one's chances that initiating a conversation will lead anywhere is less than 1%, it costs you nothing and represents a free call-option on a highly-desirable potential hookup/girlfriend/whatever.

All that said (and though economists would have you believe otherwise), we humans do not make decisions based on cooly-reasoned Expected Value calculations, and while I maneuvered myself to be seated next to the girl and work up my nerve to speak with her, I felt the thunder of my pulse pounding its staccato percussion into my skull. Ba-DUM, ba-DUM, ba-DUM, ba-DUM.

My exchange with Avi was distracted, distanced, while I steadied myself to overcome deeply-wired Beta-Male timidity and open up a conversation with the Latina. A twist of phrase, a turn of words, and in a curious reversal, she turned to us to comment on something in our dialogue and join our talk. My inner Beta Male heaved a sigh of relief as two became three, our conversation easing into comfortable territory of introductions and lighthearted banter.

Avi, to his credit, played his Wingman role perfectly - self-effacing, cerebral and complimentary to my extroverted, high-energy self. It was here we learned that the Latina ("J") is going to be a Playboy Playmate in an upcoming issue, and was waiting a few hours for a cab to take her to Hugh Hefner's 80th Birthday Party later on that evening. (!!!)

Ba-DUM, ba-DUM, ba-DUM, ba-DUM.

The invitation card she showed me was as elaborate as you can imagine, and nearly impossible to forge. We talk ... about her time as an Air Force radar operator (!!!), the radiology career she's pursuing, Hollywood culture. Experience suggests that beauty is typically inversely correlated to ambition and intelligence, but she's obliterated that stereotype quickly and an hour of elapsed dialogue stretches into a second.

(continued here)

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Bad Date? [26 Feb 2006|10:08pm]

Does anyone ever post here anymore?

This seems like a good idea for a community.
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[12 May 2005|06:25pm]
I started an anonymous journal detailing my honest thoughts and intentions in my interactions with girls. If you've ever wondered what's really going through a guys mind while you're talking to him then this is the journal to read! If you're interested in reading it then just add me. Please read my info page for more details and warnings.


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dating vs hooking up [31 Jan 2005|01:06am]

so it seems like all the guys i like just want to hook up. id much rather go on a date and anticipate a hot kiss than be pushed to take my shirt off the first time we kiss. how do you turn the table on this?
1 drink| buy me a drink

He thought it was a date...... [04 Nov 2004|01:42am]
[ mood | awake ]

There is a guy that lives above me in the fourplex I live in, he just moved in a few months ago, and has been asking me to go out and do something for quite sometime. I kept giving him excuses, for he just isn't my type. Finally, I ran out of excuses and he put me on the spot and so I said I would go out and do something and I asked what he had in mind and he said dinner.

Well the next night, he comes to my door, dressed nicely, but I was so dreading going out. I asked him if he had anywhere in mind and he said he made dinner reservations!!! Well in this small town, there really aren't restaurants where you have to do that, I had never been to this one. It was very fancy, beyond my interest. Very expensive. Well, we got seated and there was a rose on the table and he had that sent there for me. He said that that place was recommended to him, that he wanted somewhere romantic. I couldn't believe he said that. Then, the menu's were in cursive and due to the dim lighting, I couldn't read the menu well, I couldn't understand half of what was on it so I had him order for me. Well the food looked fancy even, and tasted fancy. It was so gross. I fibbed and told him it was good and picked and stirred and nibbled and told him I was full. Well, he told me I looked nice, and I replied with thanks, I just got out of the shower. I mean c'mon, I didn't think of this as a date.Every time we got in and out of the car he wanted to open and shut my doors and he told me that he was sorry if he wasn't talking much that he was nervous. Well when I got home, I thanked him for dinner and the rose, and he told me that he would like to go out with me again sometime!!!! I told him that I am very busy and that if I could fit it in, sure. I don't know why I just didn't tell him I wasn't interested. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I don't even know how old he is and he has never asked me, but he looks way to old for me. I don't know.

If I had been on a date with my bf, that would have been so perfect, or even with a guy I had a crush on, but this was a guy I had been avoiding. It was so bad, the best part was coming home. Any ideas how to let him know I don't want to go anywhere but maybe Mcdonalds with him if that? lol. I am such a nice person, but he is not my type and I don't want to hurt him.

6 drinks| buy me a drink

No Panties [02 Sep 2004|07:49pm]

[ mood | irritated ]

Ok, so we get back to my place and we're getting ready to watch a movie. I come into the room with some popcorn and she's looking through her purse for something. Lip gloss (or something like that, I'm no expert on make-up) falls out of her purse and onto the floor. She bends over to pick it up and because she's wearing a skirt, I see that she has no panties on. Now, I know this is just about every guy's dream, but this is a second date...I barely even know her. So I act casual and pretend nothing happened. After the movie was over I took her back to her place, I said that it just wasn't gonna work out. I could tell she was upset and I felt bad for making her feel that way, but I also don't date sluts.

8 drinks| buy me a drink

Single? [14 Dec 2003|09:32pm]

[ mood | amused ]

I made a new community for singles...I didn't read anything about advertising so here goes.


Check it out. I think the form ideas makes it easier to say what you're looking for. Good luck!

[14 Aug 2003|01:47am]

[ mood | awake ]

*crickets chirping*

anyone still around?

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[19 Sep 2002|02:23pm]

[ mood | amused ]

pee boy called me. and wants to get together tonight. hrm. so hard to say no. he's so cute.

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Strawberry Girl (a *good* date story ... ;) ) [02 Sep 2002|12:39am]

[ mood | tired ]


She tasted of strawberries – faint and aromatic, possibly from dessert a few hours ago, possibly from lipstick. The moment couldn’t have lasted longer than thirty seconds before we broke apart – and her eyes were still closed when I opened mine.

“Well, I guess this is goodbye,” I said with a rueful smile.

Her eyes lit up with laughter – “Oh, don’t sound so morbid! We’ll be in touch. Call me!”

She squeezed my arm once, turned … and then she’s gone.

Whether it’s the beginning of a full-time relationship or a fleeting moment of shared intimacy that vanishes by daybreak, there is always something magical about that first kiss you exchange with someone, isn’t there?

It’s that moment of hesitation; the sweetness of sensing the thousand tiny imperfections in the process of absorbing a woman’s idiosyncrasies that, for me, lingers in memory long after everything else has faded away.

Wait wait – back up.

So it’s Friday night, and I’m picking up my blind date from her cousin’s apartment. My briefing on this woman was short – a good friend’s college roommate was in town for a week to visit her family. She ended a two-year relationship about one month ago, works as an artist/graphics designer at a web-design agency, and she was a runner-up in a Miss Chinatown pageant three years ago.

Naturally, since I'm a shallow bastard, one of these factoids stood out and grabbed my attention. That's right - I've got this major fetish for women who work at web-design firms.

Knock knock, Neo.


Damn – she is attractive. Knee-length black cocktail dress, shoulder-length hair pinned back over one ear, light touch of makeup and a sunny smile that could pierce a storm cloud with its radiance. It’s incredibly flattering when a woman takes time to look good for you - and I'm certainly not immune to its effect. Please dear god don’t let me screw this one up I prayed, to no deity in particular.

With reservations for dinner and dance phoned in hours ago, we departed.

Read more...Collapse )

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[20 Aug 2002|02:29am]

[ mood | mellow ]

i can't go on anymore bad dates. i would rather be home alone than out with some guy who sells socks on the internet. miranda, sex and the city.

1 drink| buy me a drink

That's It, I've Had It! [19 Jul 2002|11:48am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Ok, so Mr. Perfect hasn't called in a week. I have left three messages and I refuse to leave anymore. I have had it with men. The BITCH is back baby! I may not post anytime soon, because I refuse to go out with another guy for awhile. (Please remember your version of awhile may be different than mine.) So thank you men of Colorado Springs and surrounding areas, for everything...NOT!

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[19 Jul 2002|11:18am]
[ mood | rantesque ]

guys. do you have a certain number of days that you try to wait before calling a girl after a date? because you really shouldn't. it's annoying. and despite what you think, you don't appear desperate if you call the next day.

2 drinks| buy me a drink

Here We Go Again [16 Jul 2002|10:20am]
[ mood | bored ]

So I went out with, let's call him Mike, a couple of weeks ago. Now, this one is a blind date. We met through mutual friends. He began IM-ing me a couple of months ago so I decided to meet him. He seemed nice enough and he had sent me pics so I had an idea of what he looked like. Now, don't get me wrong, looks aren't everything, but at my age, they do count quit a bit. He looked ok, not georgous, but not bad. So we exchanged phone numbers. We talked I think twice and decided to go out.

Now, the first clue I should have noticed was that he wanted to make this a whole day date. Uhhhhh, yeah. Stupid me, I accepted. We met at a bank so I could park my car. He saw me pull up and hopped out of the car with flowers. Awwwww. That was a nice guesture. So off we went to go putt-putt golfing. The whole way there this guy said maybe 10 words. I HATE that. If I have to carry a conversation, don't expect me to call you again. The entire day was like this. After golfing, we went to dinner. Most of it was me looking around the resturaunt and not talking. By then I was tired of being the conversation starter. We went back to his place to watch a movie. We didn't talk to whole time. So off we went to get my car. I said goodnight and hugged him. He turned his cheek, as if to avoid a kiss from me. Whatever buddy! You would be so lucky! Since then Mike has IM-ed me several times. I will not go on another date with this man.

*Moral of the story- Guys, talk to a girl when you go out with her. Otherwise, she won't talk to you after that.*

4 drinks| buy me a drink

One out of a Million [15 Jul 2002|11:28am]
[ mood | melancholy ]

Yes, I did have a good date. Spending time in Vail cuddling on a big couch and watching tv doesn't sound all that exciting, but it was a good time. Then we went out to a nice french resturaunt with his family. It was a great night. The stars were out, the universe seemed endless; full of possibility. *Sigh* Life is good.

2 drinks| buy me a drink

[15 Jul 2002|11:32am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

This is the date that started it all. Whoever I told this story to would be holding their stomachs by the time I was finished.Yeee Hawww!Collapse )

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[13 Jul 2002|06:53pm]
[ mood | amused ]

thanks to jaigh_taylor for the new baddate icons.

anyone up to anything interesting this weekend? i've yet to leave my house. call me antisocial.

*deletes boy that peed on her toilet seat from cell phone*

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dirty dream. (you couldnt see his face but you saw everything else.) [10 Jul 2002|04:36pm]

right. so love in the electronic age.
its all very funny, january was a whole string of jokes.
a little bit of history. cross reference.
dates are stupid, but number four has stuck around.

dirty dream no. 1

dirty dream no. 2

dirty dream no. 3

dirty dream no. 4
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I've got one, but just one. [09 Jul 2002|10:06pm]

[ mood | sleepy ]

I was friends with this guy and we were thinking about turning our friendship into something more. So we went on a date. Just a movie. Well, he seemed to have a B O problem. And he kept trying to hold my hand, and I was trying to just get some fresh air. It was horrible. And he wanted to take me to dinner after, but I pretended to have something to do with my family. And from that point on I made sure that the only contact we had was over the internet. Can't forgive stinkiness...maybe if it was a one time thing. But apparently I just hadn't noticed it before, because it was there to stay.

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